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  2. | encounters at a bar | 

    These are true encounters I’ve witnessed on ONE single nite at one particular bar in NYC while I was waiting for a friend.  Nothing has been exaggerated.  These were conversations, almost verbatim….

    Man – A short, average looking man in his 50s
    Woman – An Eastern European, too tanned and too skinny woman in her early 30s. 

    Man: So he basically dumped you for like 10th time.  Is that the reason why you replied to my text?
    Woman: I mean I know he’s not good for me.  No, I responded because I wanted to see you.
    Man: I don’t know how many times I’m gonna have to tell you he’s not good for you.  I tell you this every time he breaks up with you or is horrible to you but you keep going back to him.
    Woman: I know I know. I know you care.
    Man: Then I don’t hear from you for like really long time.  The last time I saw you was in December when I told you I was going to Miami alone and you wanted to come along.
    Woman: And wasn’t that fun.
    Man: It was but I didn’t hear from you after that for months even when I reached out.
    Woman: I’m sorry.  I had a lot going on.
    Man: And I thought we had a lot of fun at my house in the Hamptons last summer.  Didn’t we?
    Woman: We did.  Of course we did.  You have a beautiful home.
    Man: I feel like I don’t even know anything about you.  I mean seriously, for the past few years we’ve known each other.  I feel like I don’t know anything about you….


    Man2 – A tall white male in his 70s with completely white hair…..
    Woman2 – A semi-attractive woman in her 30s

    Man2: Well it wasn’t easy to be where I am today.
    Woman2: I know I mean you’ve accomplished so much to be where you are and you are totally respected by everyone.
    Man2:  It’s a lot of work and takes really long time.  There are definitely enough guys at the firm who are intelligent and ambitious enough to go after what they want.
    Woman2:  It’s a tough competition out there.
    Man2: I hope everything we talk about tonite stays completely confidential.
    Woman2: Of course.  I mean I could definitely share things with you confidentially as well.
    This went on for some time.  They chatted about work and people at work and etc.  Then it got this this point.
    Man2: You know I’ve made few choices in life that I do regret.  Especially about women.  I should’ve really gotten myself with more intelligent women than the women I was involved with.
    Woman2: I could see that.  I mean but you’ve accomplished so much and you’re so good at what you do.  I’m sure you’re always attracting women (as she was stroking his arm)
    Man2:  I mean I have my share of women in my life but I definitely wouldn’t mind having someone like you in my life
    Woman2: (leaned in to kiss him)

     

  3. | not too late |

     

  4.  

  5. | can’t-stand-ya costanza |

    So this happened last night.  A short, bald, chubby, unattractive, tiny of a man walked into a bar.  And like the married ones, young ones, homeless men, janitorial staff, and creepy taxi drivers, I also attract short, bald, chubby and not-so-handsome men.  So of course, he B-lined for the tiny space next to me at the bar.

    But he was there on a date with a gorgeous woman and at some point, they did a “to us” toast and kissed.  Then few minutes later, in the midst of their conversation, he turned and started a conversation with me.  And started to ask, “let’s get to know each other” kind of questions.  In all honesty, I was completely shocked.  And she looked stunned and completely defeated.  

    I know this is going to completely make me sound like a bitch.  But based on their conversation, I could assure you she wasn’t too bright nor was she very interesting.  I’m sure while she witnessed the brief encounter her “man” had with me, she was able to come to few conclusions that wasn’t in her favor.  

    But I wasn’t going to engage him.  Not because of the way he looked but because he was a fucking disrespectful man who would hit another woman in front of his date.  I know without a doubt in my mind, even if he was a drop-dead-gorgeous, tall man with full set of hair, I still would not have continued my conversation with him.  That’s just how I am…..

    As he looked at me and was about to ask me another question, I said, “I hope you have a lovely date” and shut his operation down immediately.  I actually just wanted to sit, read, eat, drink and enjoy an evening alone.  So when few gentlemen standing behind me started a conversation, I closed my tab and walked out of the bar.

    There are times, when I don’t mind being interrupted to have a conversation with a 34 year old wealth manager from Boston who eventually wanted me to cancel my dinner plans to have dinner with him.  Then there are times when all I literally want to do is to sit, read, eat and drink, completely alone….. 

     

  6. | mixology

     

  7. | linie : fw14|

     

  8. | dove : patch |

     

  9. | not the loneliest number | 

    It was a gorgeous weekend here in NYC.  I think it was the nicest weekend we’ve had this year so far.  My weekend was filled with brunches, walks in the park, grabbing drinks at Eataly rooftop, The Grand Budapest Hotel, awesome Pho meal in Chinatown, Fika at Ceci, and quality reading time at the Standard.  Met few boys along the way.  Some were straight and some were gay.  Some were handsome and some were not.  It was eventful and non-eventful all at the same time.

    In the midst of the encounters, being fully immersed in the City, and having great conversation with friends, it lead me to ponder a thought while I made my way through the long stretch of Bleecker Street yesterday afternoon.  Am I willing to accept possibly enjoying my life, just like this, even if I am having to do it completely alone?  The idea of one man in my life, on a regular basis, and having consistent/regular contact and spending time with this person in a long-term relationship seems so extremely foreign to me at the moment.   

    This wasn’t a “woe is me” moment but rather a questioning of the fundamental need or the want.  I’ve spent past few months really enjoying life and this incredible city.  And got myself back into some hard core reading.  Random books on my list, to reading magazines like The T, Economist, New Yorker, Traveler and etc cove to cover.  I haven’t hopped on a flight since December which is an odd thing for me, who travelled out of NYC every 4-6 weeks in 2013.  Maybe this is a new rhythm for my life for now.  

    And maybe this phase/stage in my life doesn’t include a fabulous man to accompany me.  I am perfectly fine being tucked away in NYC, engrossed in a book while sipping espresso alone.  I am perfectly fine wandering the city alone for hours while listening to a fantastic podcast.  I am perfectly fine to go see a movie alone.  I am perfectly content being who I am, what I am, even if that means I am alone living a pretty fantastic life by most standards…… for now.

     

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  11. |  the restaurateur |

    One of the things that amaze me about my encounters with men in NYC is that, I rarely meet a man with a same name and or even similar jobs.  Jonathan, Nick, Jim, Keith, Steven, David, Louis, Joerg, Victor, Nathan, Ian, Tom, Lawrence, Michael, Jeremiah, AJ, Bruce, James, and Thomas to name a few. I am telling you the truth, I didn’t just spit out random names that I could think of.  These are actual names of actual men that I have talked about on this blog.  And their careers ranged from, consultants, CEO, COO, CMO, CFO, president, writer, analyst, partner, VP, photographer, banker, accountant, to a tour manager.  So I am not surprised by the fact that I met yet another man last night with a name and a job that I haven’t encountered before.  

    He launches restaurant for living and lived in MD.  I’m not sure what his official title was and actually didn’t bother asking.  He was in his early 40s, tall, scruffy, handsome, well-dressed for an American, easy going and was immediately quite smitten with me.  He was very quick to ditch his friends to talk to me for few hours.  We talked about everything from books, music, film, travel and etc.  We didn’t have much in common but he was a good company regardless.  He was so interested in getting to know me.  Everything about me.  He wanted to know what I did on my weekends, what I had for breakfast, what I do to relieve stress, what kind of food I liked, what kind of wine I preferred, and on and on and on.  It was such a contrast from the Hedge Fund man, only few nights ago, who was too self-absorbed and narcissistic that he his favorite topic of conversation was him when we hung out.

    The evening ended with him walking me to 8th Ave where I needed to hop on my train.  At some point, while crossing a street, he held my arm to make sure I didn’t trip and fall in my heels and he didn’t bother letting go of the arm for the rest of the time we walked.  He gave me a nice sweet hug and we parted ways.  Without exchanging information and without saying much more than to say that it was a pleasure meeting.  I’m sure I would’ve given him my information if he had asked.  But I didn’t want to offer up the information without solicitation.  

    A brief thought had passed my mind.  I wondered why he didn’t ask and I also wondered why I didn’t volunteer the information to him myself.  I think ultimately it was because of the chance of not hearing from him again was something I didn’t want to face.  The sense of rejection that comes with not hearing from the people I want to hear from, is at times sooooooo defeating.  As great of a company as he was, I didn’t want to risk adding yet another person that I will be wondering why they’re not in my life….. C’est la vie!

     

  12.  

  13. | the hedge fund man |

    Last night I went out on a date with the Hedge Fund man aka Wharton Grad.  This is a first official non-online-dating and non-married-man-friend date.  I met a man last week at a bar.  He asked for my information, he reached out, he asked me out, he planned the date and we met up for drinks.  It was a real date.  We had great conversation, decent chemistry, laughed a bunch, he touched me bunch of times…. It was a good first date.

    To my benefit, he turned out to be younger than my guesstimate and was only 48.  He enjoys talking about himself so I learned a quite a bit about him.  He’s going through an excruciating divorce after 19+ years.  He loves what he does and he wasn’t at all modest about the kind of money he makes.  He also wasn’t modest about the type of women he’s been dating and seeing.  Young, old, attractive, smart, not-so-bright and wide range of women in between.  He was very open about this.  But then again, I guess my dating stats by most standard wouldn’t be so modest either.

    The date ended with him asking for a kiss at the bar.  He actually asked me to stand up and kiss him and I was a little puzzled by this until he pulled me really close to him for our lips to meet.  When I realized how his chest was so tightly pressed against mine, I realized he wanted me to stand up because he wanted to feel my boobs.  I had caught him staring at them few times during our date. Then as we prolonged our kiss his hands casually grabbed my ass.  I had to remind him that it was a Monday night, and the sun hasn’t even gone down yet at this chic hotel bar with people looking, as I peeled his hands off my ass…..

    Men in position with power and money… I have yet to meet one who was afraid to unapologetically go after what they want.  What women wouldn’t find this attractive?  What women will be crazy enough to say no to this?  

    He had biz dinner he was running late to.  He lightly kissed me good-bye and headed out to catch a cab while telling me he was going to get in touch with me shortly.  Not sure what any of this means yet.  Way too premature to guess at this point.  But it was a pretty good first date… : )

     

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