1. | roy choi

     

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  3. | friends with no-so-great benefits |

    I recently had a random thought about my current situation.  My current situation being, I’m a 38 year old single woman living a pretty fantastic life in NYC.  This random thought came to me while I was heading home from having sex with a friend.  Sex with him is always great and I always have fun hanging out with him.  So why am I not dating him?  There are many, many, many reasons why I am not.  All I know is that we are just not meant to be in that kind of relationship and I’ve accepted this fact.

    But when opportunity came knocking to hook up with him again, I opened the door without hesitation, and I welcomed it in with confetti and cake!  We may not be compatible in many ways but when it comes to sex, I don’t have a doubt in my mind about our compatibility and chemistry.  It’s just there and it could be quite intense.

    Then on my way home, I was thinking about how much I did enjoy having sex with him but wondered, can I do this with him indefinitely?  Let’s say he was someone I could be dating.  Let’s say he was everything I wanted in a man.  Let’s say we couldn’t get enough of each other.  Can I be with him few times a week, maybe go on vacation and spend hours and hours and days and days with him?  I actually wasn’t even thinking about him when this thought came into my head.  I was literally thinking, “Yup that was great sex.  Hmmmmm…. But how do I NOT get bored from being with one person?”

    This thought really scared me.  Wondered if being single for the past few years have transformed me from a woman who can be committed to one man for more than a decade to a woman pondering monogamy.  And with friends who are in miserable relationships to friends who are getting married and settling down surrounding me all around, this is an on going question that I will ponder indefinitely.  Maybe I won’t know until I meet someone that I will seriously have to weigh these options….

    On a side note, after we had sex, the friend didn’t text or call to make sure I got home okay. FYI, I left his apartment after 12:30….  He didn’t bother reaching out the next day or the day after or the day after that either.  Yeah yeah yeah, even as a friend it’s quite suspect….. 

     

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  9. | encounters at a bar | 

    These are true encounters I’ve witnessed on ONE single nite at one particular bar in NYC while I was waiting for a friend.  Nothing has been exaggerated.  These were conversations, almost verbatim….

    Man – A short, average looking man in his 50s
    Woman – An Eastern European, too tanned and too skinny woman in her early 30s. 

    Man: So he basically dumped you for like 10th time.  Is that the reason why you replied to my text?
    Woman: I mean I know he’s not good for me.  No, I responded because I wanted to see you.
    Man: I don’t know how many times I’m gonna have to tell you he’s not good for you.  I tell you this every time he breaks up with you or is horrible to you but you keep going back to him.
    Woman: I know I know. I know you care.
    Man: Then I don’t hear from you for like really long time.  The last time I saw you was in December when I told you I was going to Miami alone and you wanted to come along.
    Woman: And wasn’t that fun.
    Man: It was but I didn’t hear from you after that for months even when I reached out.
    Woman: I’m sorry.  I had a lot going on.
    Man: And I thought we had a lot of fun at my house in the Hamptons last summer.  Didn’t we?
    Woman: We did.  Of course we did.  You have a beautiful home.
    Man: I feel like I don’t even know anything about you.  I mean seriously, for the past few years we’ve known each other.  I feel like I don’t know anything about you….


    Man2 – A tall white male in his 70s with completely white hair…..
    Woman2 – A semi-attractive woman in her 30s

    Man2: Well it wasn’t easy to be where I am today.
    Woman2: I know I mean you’ve accomplished so much to be where you are and you are totally respected by everyone.
    Man2:  It’s a lot of work and takes really long time.  There are definitely enough guys at the firm who are intelligent and ambitious enough to go after what they want.
    Woman2:  It’s a tough competition out there.
    Man2: I hope everything we talk about tonite stays completely confidential.
    Woman2: Of course.  I mean I could definitely share things with you confidentially as well.
    This went on for some time.  They chatted about work and people at work and etc.  Then it got this this point.
    Man2: You know I’ve made few choices in life that I do regret.  Especially about women.  I should’ve really gotten myself with more intelligent women than the women I was involved with.
    Woman2: I could see that.  I mean but you’ve accomplished so much and you’re so good at what you do.  I’m sure you’re always attracting women (as she was stroking his arm)
    Man2:  I mean I have my share of women in my life but I definitely wouldn’t mind having someone like you in my life
    Woman2: (leaned in to kiss him)

     

  10. | not too late |

     

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  12. | can’t-stand-ya costanza |

    So this happened last night.  A short, bald, chubby, unattractive, tiny of a man walked into a bar.  And like the married ones, young ones, homeless men, janitorial staff, and creepy taxi drivers, I also attract short, bald, chubby and not-so-handsome men.  So of course, he B-lined for the tiny space next to me at the bar.

    But he was there on a date with a gorgeous woman and at some point, they did a “to us” toast and kissed.  Then few minutes later, in the midst of their conversation, he turned and started a conversation with me.  And started to ask, “let’s get to know each other” kind of questions.  In all honesty, I was completely shocked.  And she looked stunned and completely defeated.  

    I know this is going to completely make me sound like a bitch.  But based on their conversation, I could assure you she wasn’t too bright nor was she very interesting.  I’m sure while she witnessed the brief encounter her “man” had with me, she was able to come to few conclusions that wasn’t in her favor.  

    But I wasn’t going to engage him.  Not because of the way he looked but because he was a fucking disrespectful man who would hit another woman in front of his date.  I know without a doubt in my mind, even if he was a drop-dead-gorgeous, tall man with full set of hair, I still would not have continued my conversation with him.  That’s just how I am…..

    As he looked at me and was about to ask me another question, I said, “I hope you have a lovely date” and shut his operation down immediately.  I actually just wanted to sit, read, eat, drink and enjoy an evening alone.  So when few gentlemen standing behind me started a conversation, I closed my tab and walked out of the bar.

    There are times, when I don’t mind being interrupted to have a conversation with a 34 year old wealth manager from Boston who eventually wanted me to cancel my dinner plans to have dinner with him.  Then there are times when all I literally want to do is to sit, read, eat and drink, completely alone….. 

     

  13. | mixology

     

  14. | linie : fw14|

     

  15. | dove : patch |